Went running today
Going again tomorrow morning
I feel really confused right now. I am having a lot of anxiety about turning 26 this summer, about enrolling in this MA program. I know that the funding package I got could not be matched anywhere else, and I know that it’s important for me to stay close to my mom anyways, so it makes sense for me to attend this school, but I still feel like I’m sinking.
I’m mad at myself for not pushing myself harder over the last two years. I am mad at myself for essentially wasting a lot of time, and putting energy into people who ultimately never cared about me. I’m mad for not reading as much as I could have, but I also resent studying literature for, to some extent, undoing my ability to read like I used to.
I know that once I am back in school I will be too intellectually preoccupied to worry about these things, or my feelings will be guided by something actually worth it. I know that two years isn’t a long time and I know that this will be what I need.
But I still wish I worked harder so I could have gone away much much farther.
Let’s face it. We’re undone by each other. And if we’re not, we’re missing something.
—Judith Butler, Precarious Life: The Powers of Mourning and Violence
We are undone by each other
In lieu of writing
trans is actually short for transcendence i am trans as in i have transcended beyond gender and into the next realm good bye
Hate this city actually
Botticelli - flower detail
Ta X’biex, Malta, 2011
"The Atlantic is far from the only publication to withhold wages, nor is journalism the only field. In academia, adjunct professors live in poverty doing the same work as the average professor paid $73,207 per year. In many industries - including policy, entertainment, and business - interns do the same jobs as salaried employees and are paid nothing or next to nothing. “We need to hire a 22-22-22,” said one new media manager quoted in the New York Times, meaning a 22-year-old willing to work 22-hour days for $22,000 a year.”
A.M. Bilingual number crunching
Garden Path with Chickens